Opening to Life
Student – Lama La, I’m a guy in my mid-40s. I am often sick, but I never go to the hospital for a check-up. I’m afraid of bad news and that my illness is serious and that I might die. How can I get over this fear and go and see a doctor? Is there anything in the Buddhist teachings that might help me to address this situation?
Master – You should contemplate death. There is no-one who has ever lived who did not die. Even the historical Buddha passed away. So, why would we expect to avoid the cremation ground?
You should think about the inevitability of death until you deeply accept that you will one day die. Maybe your death will not come this year or even the next, but, as sure as night follows day, it will come.
Even if you visit a doctor and he says that your illness is not serious, you should not think that you have dodged Yama’s bullet permanently, but consider that on the next visit or maybe the one after you will be told that your sickness is terminal. This will happen.
Even though the process of dying begins the moment we are born, we rarely give the matter a second thought or, otherwise, we purposely avoid the subject.
Due to this tendency to ignore the reality of death, we spend our lives accumulating possessions and building up status as if we will live for thousands of years. Of course, this is impossible, and our lives are actually very short, and other than the results of our actions, nothing that we have accumulated accompanies us when we die.
As Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche has said: “Our lives have no outcome other than death, just as rivers have no end other than the ocean. At the moment of death, our only recourse is spiritual practice, and our only friends are the virtuous actions we have accomplished during our lifetime.”
Many people consider that thinking of death is morbid, but the opposite is actually true, and reminding ourselves of our immortality helps us to fully appreciate the value of our human existence.
I remember reading about a young guy in Tokyo who was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Suddenly, confronted with his own demise, he decided to do the things he had always wanted to do, but had previously been too busy with work and social obligations to manage.
He visited the Buddhist sacred sites in India. He also spent time on the ghats in Varanasi, drinking chai and watching the Ganga flow by. He sat at the feet of great Buddhist masters in Nepal.
He wrote that he began to appreciate the sacredness of each moment, and to recognize how each day and each hour was precious.
He also changed his daily routine. Previously, he would start his day in the office, hurriedly drinking a take-away coffee from a paper cup, while scrolling through messages on WhatsApp and uploads on social media.
After realizing his life would be short, he changed his schedule and lifestyle.
He also started wearing clothes that raised his spirit, but had previously felt too inhibited to put on. He grew his hair long and spent hours each day chanting and practicing meditation.
He also tried to benefit others, which he said made him happy, encouraging him to be more generous with his time and money.
The realization that his life would be short had woken him from his half-asleep world and allowed him to immerse himself fully into life.
Status, money, and others’ opinions of the way he dressed or styled his hair were no longer important. He didn’t care anymore. He felt free and saw his illness as a wake-up call, describing it as a blessing.
Of course, not all of us can just quit our jobs and travel, but at least recognizing that we are heading towards death will help us prioritize our activities and drop our inhibitions.
As you have been ill for some time, it is unlikely you will recover by yourself. In contrast, medical intervention could save an acute illness from becoming chronic and life-threatening. Refusing to address sickness is no more effective in warding off illness than an ostrich sticking its head in the sand will save it from attack when threatened.
In conclusion, I suggest you contemplate death. Recognize that no matter how much we avoid talking about it, or no matter how much cosmetic surgery we undergo or exercise we do, the cremation ground will still be our eventual destination.
Still, this does not mean that we ignore our health. To be born in a human body and in a Buddhist country at a time when awakened masters still exist is extremely rare and precious and so we should not waste this opportunity by spending our time engaged in frivolous things which, in any case, will only bring fleeting joy.
Instead, we should eat nutritious meals and take care of our health. We should practice and benefit others. This is the best way to spend our lives.
From a deeper perspective, death is just a concept. It doesn’t actually exist. It is nothing more than dying in a dream. In a dream, death is a painful experience, but when we wake up, nothing happens. To gain more stability in this view, you can contemplate the ‘Four Seals of Buddhism’, especially the teaching on all things being compounded.
In conclusion, maybe you will find this quote by Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche helpful:
“One of the main reasons we practice Dharma is to prepare ourselves for certain death. For some, it is the only reason they practice — and that reason alone will make their Dharma practice worthwhile.
“These days various aspects of the Dharma, like mindfulness, are becoming more and more popular, but rarely as a preparation for death and definitely not as a preparation for what lies beyond death. Modern people meditate for every reason under the sun except the most important one.
“How many vipassana students meditate to prepare for death? And how many practice because they want to put an end to the cycle of death and rebirth for good? Most people meditate because they want to become better managers, or find partners, or feel happy, or because they long for a calm, stress-free mind and life.
“For them, meditation is a way of preparing for life, not death and is therefore no less mundane than their other worldly pursuits, like shopping, eating out, exercising and socializing.”
In conclusion, you should contemplate death so that it not only becomes familiar, but so that you also recognize that it is just an illusory concept.
Finally, please visit the hospital without delay. Your life is precious. Do not put it at risk out of fear of the diagnosis. In all likelihood, your sickness is not serious, and so a visit to the hospital or a diagnostic clinic will not only enable you to recover, but also bring you peace of mind. As the Nike slogan says: “Just do it.”