Chasing Illusions: The Cost of Pursuing Wealth over Wisdom
Student – Dear Lama, I was raised in a household dominated by money. My parents were constantly lending or borrowing and caught up in long-term legal battles with relatives over property. I remember my mother keeping her phone switched off to avoid calls from family, friends, and lenders demanding repayment. While I’m grateful to my parents for raising me, I admit that I felt relief when I left this stifling environment after marriage. However, I soon discovered that my wife’s family had the same pattern of lending and borrowing money, and, worse, they began looking down on me for not coming from a wealthier family. Ironically, my parents are more educated, but their family land allowed them to build and rent out a property. Recently, while talking with friends about my family matters, I was surprised to learn that many shared similar stories. What’s going wrong? Why has money become the defining force in our lives? What happened to kindness and basic human goodness? How should I respond to my parents and parents-in-law?
Master – While many lives are no doubt driven by the pursuit of money and materialism, I remain convinced that most people embrace deeper, more genuine values. However, we are living in what is often called the degenerate era or Dharma Ending Age — a time when the pursuit of wealth and material gain increasingly dominates society.
Simply put, a characteristic of this age is that people will lose their way, prioritizing material wealth over kindness and wisdom. This shift places personal gain and consumption above the well-being of others. In this sense, the situations you mention are a reflection of the times.
Sadly, those who see the world through dollar signs never find true happiness. Seeking contentment in material things and status is like trying to quench a thirst with salt water — it not only fails to satisfy, but actually exacerbates the situation.
Why is this the case? One reason is that material things do not exist in the way we perceive them. Like a rainbow, they may appear real but are ultimately illusory. Then, when the conditions that create them change, they vanish, just as a rainbow fades when light or moisture shifts.
In this way, seeking happiness in material possessions is like trying to catch a rainbow to weave into a coat or searching for water in a mirage.
Still, when the mirage fails to provide the water they seek, people do not pause to analyze it. Instead, they convince themselves that the next one will fulfill their need, trapping them in a cycle of chasing one illusion after another.
Similarly, when their newest possessions fail to bring lasting happiness, people rarely question whether material things can truly provide it. They simply assume they need more.
Why does this happen? Because we rarely hear advice on the illusory nature of material things, and even when we do, ingrained patterns of thinking keep us from fully grasping it. Meanwhile, relentless marketing persuades us that true happiness lies in possessions.
The latest smartphone, designer sneakers — these are presented as the missing pieces of fulfillment. While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying such things, marketing often cultivates a “hungry ghost” mindset — an endless craving for more, always chasing but never arriving. Like a carrot dangled before a donkey, satisfaction remains just out of reach. This perpetual longing becomes a powerful force, driving consumerism and maximizing profits.
Is it wrong to pursue money and wealth? No, not at all. In fact, money can provide many benefits. The problem arises when we believe that wealth can bring lasting joy and happiness. If that were true, then most people in economically developed countries would be happy, but that’s not the case. For instance, South Korea has one of the highest suicide rates in the world, while Australia ranks among the top five countries for depression.
Moreover, when we are obsessively driven by the pursuit of money, our minds are seldom at peace. As demonstrated by the experiences of your parents and in-laws, it can spark family conflicts and create a false sense of superiority, hardening the heart and, like all values rooted in external validation, ultimately robbing us of our freedom.
How should you respond to your parents? Firstly, it’s important to remember all the kindnesses they’ve shown you. While it’s easy to focus on the negatives, you should not forget the countless ways they’ve cared for you. Without their support — feeding and clothing you when you were too young to even stand — you wouldn’t be where you are today.
By recognizing the struggles and insecurities that drive people’s obsession with money and status, you can also develop empathy for your parents and in-laws. Their pursuit of material wealth, often at the expense of deeper relationships, will ultimately leave them feeling empty and unfulfilled. A peaceful old age and death will elude them.
Instead of reacting negatively to their materialistic and self-serving lifestyle, try approaching them with understanding — as if you were seeing someone lost in a desert, endlessly searching for water in a mirage. Empathy isn’t about criticizing, rescuing, or feeling superior; it’s about acknowledging the confusion we all experience to some extent, offering a non-judgmental presence, and, when possible, guiding others toward greater understanding and wisdom.
How can we effectively address and counter this negative attitude on a widespread scale? In an era where mass advertising promotes materialism and status as the highest human goal, it can be challenging. One powerful and long-term approach lies in rethinking the role of education.
Education systems play a vital role in social well-being, but could be far more impactful if they go beyond merely preparing students for careers or societal roles. By fostering a deeper understanding of life, they can nurture individuals who are not only skilled but also compassionate, wise, creative, disciplined, and mindful — rooted in an awareness of interdependence and impermanence.
The economy plays a crucial role in any country’s development, but without kindness and a deep understanding of our interconnectedness, it cannot create a society where the majority of people feel safe and at peace with themselves.
Think of a country as a human body. While each organ may function well on its own, true well-being depends on their recognition of interdependence and willingness to work together. Without this cooperation, it’s as if the heart pumps blood and the kidneys filter fluids, but neither shares the results of their efforts with the rest of the body. Such disunity inevitably leads to illness and decay.
The same holds true for families and communities as well as nations. As HH Dalai Lama wisely noted, “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.
