Attitude of Gratitude
Student – Lama la, A couple of years ago, I opened a small restaurant in Thimphu aimed at younger customers. But with many people in their 20s moving to Australia and elsewhere, business has been a little slow. Still, I get enough customers to cover my living costs and to run a car, but lately I’ve been feeling bored and unmotivated, coming in late, leaving early, and losing passion for the work. I’m wondering if I should try to rekindle that passion or consider selling the business and doing something new. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
Master – Many people feel bored doing the same tasks every day. But unless your job is extremely stressful or fails to meet your financial needs, it’s usually better to adjust your mindset than to keep changing jobs.
Why? In most cases, the problem isn’t the work itself — it’s how we relate to it. To avoid repeating the mistake of the fox in an old story, we need to examine our attitude.
In the story, a fox has a skin disease that causes constant itching. He blames the sun and moves to the shade. When the itching persists, he blames the shade and returns to the sun. Then he tries sitting in water, but still finds no relief. He spends his entire life blaming his surroundings, never realizing the problem lies within his own skin.
We often do the same — blaming boredom or frustration on our job, our boss, or the industry. So, we change jobs, hoping the next one will be better. But we rarely pause to consider whether the real issue is our approach to the work, not the work itself. This mindset leads to ongoing dissatisfaction, no matter where we go.
So how do we shift our mindset? It starts with awareness and care.
Your job might feel repetitive, serving the same food and drinks to the same people. But if you pay attention, each moment is slightly different. The food may be the same, but its aroma, texture, and presentation vary. The lighting changes throughout the day. Your mood and your customers’ moods shift. No two moments are exactly alike.
Awareness means being present: noticing the smell of the food, the weight of the plates, and the sounds around you. Observe your customers’ expressions and place their cups so the handles are easy to reach. These small gestures show respect and transform routine work into something meaningful.
If someone is impatient or rude, they may be struggling with stress from family, financial, or health issues. Everyone has bad days, and we just don’t know what others are going through.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should tolerate abuse, and setting clear boundaries is essential. But it can help to see the bigger picture. The job of a server, hospital worker, office employee, or shop assistant is to deal with all kinds of people, not just the polite ones. In fact, difficult situations can be seen as opportunities to sharpen your social skills and turn challenges into something positive, or at least neutralize their impact.
This blend of awareness, empathy, and courtesy can make even seemingly mundane work more satisfying — even exciting. Here are two examples:
In Tokyo, I often saw a cobbler near a metro station. He worked in all weather — sun, rain, and snow — repairing shoes with meticulous care. He handed back repaired shoes with both hands, as if they were precious. He respected his tools, never wasting anything, even straightening bent nails and placing them back in his toolbox. He took pride in his work and was known for his cheerful nature. His job was simple, yet he performed it with dignity, quietly inspiring those around him.
In Taipei, I used to sit outside a café near an elderly man with a short white beard who sold high-quality kurta-style shirts. He sat on a stool with a mala in hand, chanting mantras. I later learned he was a retired professor. For him, this small business was a practice. He noticed people’s needs and spoke with kindness. One day, a teenager admired a shirt but didn’t have enough money. As he turned to leave, the professor gave him the shirt without hesitation.
When I asked about his business, he said it was just a pastime — he didn’t need the money and donated whatever he earned. For him, it was about connecting with people. Even when we do need a salary, we can still use our work to touch lives. In doing so, we don’t just earn a living; we create meaning, and that benefits everyone, including us.
As often noted, if we’re only happy when we receive something, we’ll be happy only rarely. But if we can feel joy when others receive something — whether from us or someone else — we’ll experience happiness more often, simply because there are more people and more opportunities for that kind of joy.
A Buddhist parable illustrates this beautifully. A king once invited the Buddha and his monks for a meal and asked who among those present had gained the most merit. To everyone’s surprise, the Buddha replied that it was a beggar woman standing at the gate. She had contributed nothing materially, yet she was overjoyed that the Buddha would receive a good meal and that the king would earn merit through his generosity. Her pure joy and selfless intention, the Buddha explained, carried the greatest merit of all.
This makes sense in theory, but in practice, few people adopt this mindset. Instead of seeing others as opportunities to serve or uplift, we frown when a customer interrupts our TikTok scroll, or — out of insecurity — feel jealous when someone else receives a gift, promotion, or recognition.
The cobbler and the shirt-seller offer a better example. Confident and content within themselves, with nothing to prove, they treat others with humility and generosity, regardless of status. They find quiet joy in serving others and contributing to the happiness of those around them.
In the end, unless your job is truly unmanageable, focus on changing your mindset, not your job. Constantly switching jobs—or even relationships—out of boredom is like the fox, blaming the outside world instead of looking within.
Stay present. Notice the small changes that make each moment different. Let each meal you serve feel like a fresh experience. Be kind to your customers. Be attentive to their needs.
To transform your intention, start each day with a simple dedication: “May my work benefit others.” This quiet commitment plants the seed of compassion, turning your daily routine into a path of service.
For those who practice Buddhism, this can be deepened by reflecting on the nature of reality: you, your customers, and even the food you serve are not fixed or solid. They are like rainbows or mirages, vividly present, yet lacking independent existence. This insight, rooted in the Four Seals of Buddhism, dissolves rigid views and opens the door to clarity, humility, and compassion.
At the end of the day, dedicate your efforts with a heartfelt wish: “May all beings realize the truth and be free from suffering and its causes.” Even the most mundane tasks can then become offerings of profound significance.
In short: change your attitude, not your job. When more people embrace this shift, they not only find greater peace in their own lives but also help transform society. And because we are part of that society, we naturally benefit from its uplift.