Lifelong Retreat – A Noble Endeavour or a Waste of a life.
Student – Hi Lama la, we have a family dilemma on which we seek Lama’s advice. My younger brother, who is in his mid-20s, has been interested in Buddhism since he was very young. My parents have always supported him in practice, even when it interfered with his school studies. Suddenly, however, he announced that he wants to become a monk and enter a lifelong retreat. We were all shocked by this announcement, and my parents are really upset that they will never see our youngest one again. We have suggested that he just become a monk in a monastery, but he is insisting to take vows and move to a remote area. I want to support my brother, but am confused about the situation. Isn’t it a waste of a life to just stay in a cave or broken-down hut in a remote area without even basic facilities for our whole life? Also, if everyone entered a lifelong retreat, economies would grind to a halt and food chains would be broken. The world could not survive. I seek Lama’s insights on this la.
Master – If you are talking from a purely materialistic point of view, then you are correct in your final point. The present economic systems could not be sustained if everyone lived in retreat with very basic needs.
In terms of the planet as an ecological entity, however, it would thrive. As is often quoted, if bees became extinct, the human population would struggle to feed itself. In contrast, if humans died out, the environment would flourish, enabling a myriad of life forms to prosper.
As for not getting enough food to eat, yes, that is very true, but the same could be said if everyone became a civil servant or a doctor. However, that isn’t going to happen, and there will always be people who till the land, as well as those who work in offices and hospitals.
Moreover, the number of people who enter even a short-term retreat, let alone a lifelong one, is so low that it would not even register as a statistic among the occupations and activities of the world’s population.
So, don’t worry. Your brother’s chosen path will not lead to a mass exodus of people from the farms, causing world-wide food shortages and famine.
Is it a wasted life to live in a cave or hut with basic facilities? It depends on your viewpoint. A person who desires luxury would no doubt endorse this opinion, but a yogi practicing the Dharma would definitely think the same about a life devoted to seeking worldly pleasures, which he knows to be fleeting and no more real than a rainbow or water in a mirage.
Now to put your parents’ minds at rest, a person who enters retreat establishes certain boundaries at the beginning, which includes listing a number of people who can enter these boundaries.
Depending on his tsawai lama’s instructions, these are usually between three to five people, excluding essential workers, such as a doctor or electrician etc. So, if he names his parents as two of the people who can enter his sanctified space, then they can visit him.
Returning to your question about a retreat being a wasted life, you need to define wasted in order for me to clearly answer that question.
Anyway, if you believe that life is just a one time journey and that when we die it’s all over and the game stops there, then maybe you are correct. In this case, your goals in life are merely to have fun, even if that fun causes harm to others because you will believe there are no consequences beyond those imposed by worldly laws.
In reality, however, this is the path of the nihilist, and even in a worldly sense this kind of self-indulgent lifestyle will fail to bring lasting joy.
Why is this the case? It is because everything is merely created by the joining together of components and are not permanently and truly existing entities.
As an example, when legs and a top combine in a specific way, people in certain cultures will identify it as a table. Then, when the parts are removed or fall off, it ceases to exist as a piece of furniture. But, where did the table go or, put in another way, in which part of the table did it disappear – in a leg or maybe the top? In reality, there was no permanently existing object called a table, but just a temporary joining together of components that certain people consider a table.
Everything in the universe exists in the same way. From a mountain to a human body, all entities are impermanent and no more real than water in a mirage, which is similarly just a composition of parts – moisture, heat, light, and a mind that perceives it.
In this respect, even the greatest pleasure is really nothing more than an illusion that will come to an end once the causes that created it fade and disappear, and this creates dissatisfaction and anxiety. Likewise, in the same way that water in a mirage cannot quench our thirst, so wealth and pleasure cannot inspire the mind and bring lasting contentment, and this creates disappointment.
What, then, brings an end to dissatisfaction and disappointment? Only recognition of reality can accomplish this. Anything else is merely a distraction.
As an example, think of a child who is terrified of the mask dancers at a festival/tshechu. His parents may give him an ice-cream to distract his mind, and it works temporarily. For us, an ice-cream may not be sufficient to divert our minds from life’s problems, and so we engage in playing video games, scrolling through Facebook, shopping, gambling, or drinking, etc.
However, the root cause of the fears remains, and only when the truth of the situation is realized do they stop. In the boy’s case, it is to see that the scary faces are not monsters, but just masks worn by monks. In life, the equivalent realization is to recognize that nothing truly exists and is subject to constant change.
This brings me back to your question. The purpose of entering a retreat is to awake to reality. It is not to hide away from family members or to renounce conventional life, but to wake up to reality – to recognize that the mask dancers are not monsters, but monks, and to understand that the water in a mirage cannot quench our thirst.
In the professional world, there are countless people who have inspired the world for generations. However, their influence in terms of mind, which is the root of suffering or liberation, pales when compared to yogis like Milarepa and Jigme Lingpa, who, despite spending their adult lives in the mountains, expounded timeless, incomparable wisdom that continues to guide people even now, centuries after their demise.
As these yogis were no longer confused – no longer scared of mask dancers or seeking respite from thirst in mirages, they could lead others. Basically, only sane people can lead others to sanity.
In conclusion, the journey of a lifelong retreatant is certainly not a wasted life, but a noble endeavor that is rooted in an aspiration to be instrumental in leading all beings to awake to reality and so bring a permanent end to disappointment, anxiety, and suffering.
Related Perspective
Buddhism and Buddhists are not the Same
Hi Lama la, I am attracted to the teachings of Buddhism. However, I am deterred...
Applying Buddhist Wisdom in Today’s Complex and Globalized World
The master delved into the pervasive influence of social media, noting how it fosters self-consumption...
Maybe, the Meaning of Life.
Master – On 10 July 2024, Bhutan commemorated the first sermon taught by Lord Buddha, a...